Con Joey Mills
So you want to get to fit. I’m not commenting on your weight dear reader, I mean I’m sure you’re lovely. In fact you’re reading this so you must be. But if you do want to get fit, it is easy to let the slightest thing put you off.
For me it is gyms, and the creatures that inhabit them that turn me from fitness freak to, well regular freak. You see you cannot make it more than three paces across a gym floor these days without seeing skinny teens taking Instagram pictures of themselves in the Gold’s Gym tops their mum got from the market and barking “do u even lift bro? (sic)” at each other. The only lift I want after that is one to McDonald’s, where sure the people are still weird but they know my struggle.
So not wanting to raid Nan’s Davina McCall DVD collection and “go girl” in my spandex onesie while I accidentally kick the dog over the sofa, I’m only really left with one option when it comes to getting trim. I have to go outside. Now I know what you’re thinking, outside is rubbish. The weather is generally bad even during what passes for a British summer, you can’t exercise in your pants lest you risk having things thrown at you, and worst of all there is people out there. Real, actual people with their people eyes and people voices, judging you for managing to drag yourself from a Netflix binge long enough to blink in the sunlight like a newborn chimp being extricated from its mother by an overeager zookeeper.
But trust me blogosphere, it is not all bad. For a start you can run away from all the people! In fact it’s encouraged, the further you run the more exercise you have actually done! If you are a binge-watching hermit looking to tone up, outside is actually the best place for you. Don’t believe me o’ coach-riding cinephile? Just think about how many of your favourite films take place outside. Rocky Balboa runs up some steps and now you can too. Forrest Gump runs through decades of American history! Follow him and run reader run! Even The Terminator does much of his menacing stalking outdoors. Just please, no weapons!
Another great reason to get out there and put the work in is the fact that this country might not have nice weather but it does have incredible, historic scenery. Get out and see some of it. Better yet run amongst it, take in the sights and smells of your town and you might just find out some things you never knew about your neighbourhood. Just stay away from some of the more well-known tourist areas, nobody wants to end up on the 6 0’clock news for trying to hurdle Stonehenge.
So turn off your fifth episode of Breaking Bad of the day, wipe on some HayMax to ward off those pesky outdoor allergens and see some of the world. You never know, you might find it even more thrilling than what Walter White is up to.